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Alethia Counseling Center

The Greek word for “counselor” is “Paraklete.” Think “two pairs of shoes.”

el-camino-path-cuts-off-640x426It literally refers to a person who comes to walk alongside. Too many people
attempt to journey down all the paths alone. There are times, and paths, when we need someone alongside to encourage, support, and help us.
Our symbol is the compass, since our goal is to help people walk the path when they need us.

Making the decision to come to AlethiaonBlackcounseling (as well as the counseling process itself) can be pretty difficult.  Maybe everyone needs some counseling from time-to-time, but it takes a certain amount of health to get it!  We applaud you for looking…  so here is some information about us that will hopefully help you make your decision wisely with all the information you need:

“Alethia Counseling Center” is in Tyler, Texas located at 7925 South Broadway, Suite 820.

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If you are interested in scheduling with any of us, call us at 903 561 8955 today.

Back to the Greek:  “Alethia” is the Greek word for “truth – revealed, discovered, to be made known…” We want to help you and those you love discover how to life the fullest life possible.

 

9U5A0414Chris Legg, LPC.  I am the owner/operator and the lead therapist at Alethia.  I have been counseling since 1996.  I love to come alongside to challenge and encourage people to live in freedom!   I started counseling in Tyler in 2001, and have continued to have a passion for this community.  Coming to counseling is hard, and it takes courage, but I have sought to gather a team of therapists who are caring, professional and competent to come alongside us when we need a hand… and we all have times like that.  Take a big step toward a free-er, full-er life. www.chrismlegg.com

 

9U5A0362Millie Tanner, LPC.   As a Licensed Professional Counselor I see people who have different backgrounds, struggles, and ways of coping.  Pain can come from broken relationships, cold marriages, or the devastation of losing someone we love.  In those times a therapist can give encouragement and insight by asking the right questions to lead to a healthier way of living.  Through this many find freedom as light is shined on dark places in their lives.

 

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Zach Herrin, LPC
.   I have been a counselor in some capacity for the last eight years. To recognize where you are gives you the freedom and choice to leave where you are.  Working with men and teens are high on my list, but I also love to help families and couples.  The counseling process can be encouraging and discouraging all at the same time but I believe from personal experience it can make all the difference… when we take the first step in asking for help.   www.herrincounseling.com

 

 

9U5A0431Keely Burks, LPC.  My desire is to see marriages healed and parent and child relationships reconciled. I consider myself blessed to come alongside people as they discover the truth of who they are, choosing not to believe the lies they previously subscribed to. www.keelyburkscounseling.com 

 

 

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Amy Waters, LPC.
  Hebrew wisdom tells us that “in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”  The decision to seek counseling is both wise and brave.  It is a joy and a privilege  to come alongside people in this way.   There are few things more rewarding that seeing people get in touch with the truth and be transformed by it. www.amywaterscounseling.com

 

 

9U5A0396Allison Cooper, LPC: I am an LPC with experience helping individuals, couples, and families. I enjoy working as a team with clients to help them gain perspective, insight, and self-confidence when facing challenges. It is my philosophy that through the therapeutic relationship clients can gain strength and find peace.

 

 

 

9U5A0446Josh Berger, LPC: Life is full of storms. The ebbs and flows they bring can leave anyone feeling shipwrecked. My role as a counselor is a grounding one: to equip and enable you to see light through the darkness. Together we pursue truth and beauty and lasting freedom.  www.bergercounseling.com

 

 

 

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Debra Henderson, LPC:
 It takes courage and strength to ask for help. I have great admiration for the person who can admit they are in a “stuck” place, and choose to seek professional input. I am always honored when given the privilege to come alongside a person’s journey toward greater mental health. As a licensed professional counselor with NCC status and certification in trauma therapy, I have great faith in your ability to accomplish the task before you; therefore; I have worked extremely hard to acquire the necessary skills to assist you in the journey toward wholeness in body, soul (mind, will, emotions), and spirit.

 

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Molly Moore, LPC-Intern:
 I am an LPC-Intern, under the supervision of Chris Legg, and have experience working with children, adolescents, adults, and couples. I view counseling as a partnership where you, the client, and I, the counselor, work together to bring health to all areas of your life. I believe it is extremely important to take a holistic approach that not only examines the mental or relational issues you may be facing, but also the spiritual and physical issues, as well, to find a greater sense of healing and purpose.

 

 

Headshot_TylerTyler Sullins, LPC-Intern: I am a Licensed Professional Counselor – Intern under the supervision of Chris Legg, with experience working with individuals, couples and families My hope is to help clients gain insight and perspective in the midst of life’s challenges. It is a joy and a privilege to walk alongside clients as they begin to gain confidence and strength to deal with life as it comes. www.tylersullins.com

 

 

 

 

If you are interested in learning more or in scheduling with any of us, call us at 903 561 8955 today.

Emotional Numbing – by Millie Tanner

I wonder how many of the behaviors that we struggle with in our personal lives have roots in emotional numbing?  Eating too much?  Not eating enough? Drinking every night?  Keeping our home perfectly ordered?  Creating a schedule that allows no time for rest?  I’m sure there are others…

feeling-on-offSome of these behaviors even look incredibly functional and quite productive but at their core they are used to avoid uncomfortable feelings.  When I ask what people want most in their life the answers that I hear very often are peace and rest.

What if we can never truly find peace or rest without being open and vulnerable to feeling all our feelings?

 

 

Pain and joy.

Disappointment and excitement.

Fear and love.

Rejection and acceptance.

Think about it. What impact would this have on how we use our time, the depth of our relationships, our energy level, and our connection to the Lord.

How do I get my feelings back?

Below I have listed several ways to know what you are feeling. For some, particularly those who have experienced trauma in their life, a counselor may need to help you begin this journey.

Be present in the moment.  Stop and figure out what is going on inside of you.  Learn to pause and evaluate what you are feeling.  Wait at least 30 seconds before you respond behaviorally to a feeling.

  1. Identify avoidant behaviors. These may be obvious or they may be dysfunctional behaviors that look functional.  Either way they are obstacles to peace and rest.  Avoidant behaviors take a great deal of time and energy.
  2. Do not look at feelings as simply positive/negative or good/bad.  This way of thinking pushes us to avoid anything perceived negative at all cost.Feelings are feelings. Some are more comfortable than others. The one thing we can count on with emotions is that they constantly change.  When feelings get “stuck” a doctor will diagnose a disorder.  We must learn to develop emotional agility.
  3. Understand that empathy builds on self-awareness. The more self-aware we are the greater ability we have to connect to each other. This has huge implications in the area of marriage. I use the term self-awareness in the same sense that Scripture talks about examining ourselves.  When we avoid our own feelings it is virtually impossible for us to truly connect in a vulnerable and open way to our spouse.
  4. Know that numbing has consequences.  We don’t get to pick and choose which feelings we want to numb.  When we begin to go down the road of numbing emotions it tends to be all or nothing.  We can’t numb the bad without numbing the good. emotional-numbing-monkeys
  5. Make a choice each day.  Our choice is to engage or disconnect.     When we choose to engage with our own feelingswe are also making the choice to engage with other people. The opposite is true as well.  Disconnection with self hinders healthy relationships with others.
  6. Start slow.  Begin by tolerating uncomfortable feelings little by little.  As you face feelings you will have less and less need for avoidant behaviors.  Begin with writing.  It can be a great tool.
  7. Enjoy the process.  Change is usually measured in small increments and small changes can have huge impact.

 

surviving thanksgiving
The power of we

 

The holidays can be a wonderful time of family bonding and relaxing, as we celebrate the blessings we have been given. We care for one another and celebrate and reminisce peacefully together as a family. That’s the way the picture is supposed to look, right?

 

But for many of us the holidays bring a mix of fun and joyous times and extra stresses and pressures. Whether it is the higher expectations of what a Thanksgiving meal “should” look like, or having a lot people with strong personalities staying under the same roof – sometimes the holidays can feel more like a storm to survive than a time to enjoy. If you find yourself experiencing extra stress during this holiday week, read the article below for some ideas of how to help unite your family together during this holiday season.

 

The first question to ask is, “what would our family actually look like if we were united together in love?”. “What would ‘we’ as a family even mean?”.

 

A quick example of “we” from history

The summer of 1881 shook our nation as word spread of the assassination attempt of President James Garfield.  On a hot July day, our twentieth president was shot.  He would never recover.  Hindsight clearly tells us that his medical care actually made his condition worse as infection spread all over his body.

 

By late August it was decided that the president would be transported by train 250 miles away to a seaside town in New Jersey.  The first lady determined that the cooler temperatures and ocean breezes would be good for her frail husband.  The Pennsylvania Railroad gladly provided the train which was customized to keep the dying president as comfortable as possible.

 

Much care was taken as the president was lifted to a special mattress to be transported to the train.  The train provided a comfortable ride but one problem remained.  The train tracks ended approximately one mile from the cottage.  Transporting the president by a horse drawn wagon was out of the question.  What could be done?

 

Just as the plan began to fall apart and hope was fading that our president could die peacefully by the sea, a group of railroad men stepped up.  A unit of trackmen from the Pennsylvania Railroad showed up with tools in hand and began laying track all the way up to the cottage.  Not only did the railroad workers help but the whole town and people from the surrounding areas showed up to help.

 

Citizens and railroad workers leveled and cleared the road of rubble before the track was laid.  Everyone worked throughout the night.  The residents set up refreshment stands with lemonade and the Elberon Hotel sent wagons of sandwiches.  Residents carted away rubble while boys, too young to work, held torches for light.  Anyone who could help in any way was there throughout the day and night until the track reached the cottage.

garfields-train-track

The Garfield Train Track united an entire town under one common goal: helping a man in need

As President Garfield’s train made the last mile of the journey on the new track an unexpected problem arose.  The incline of the track was too steep and the train stopped.  It was at that moment that the power of “we” triumphed.  The biggest and strongest men ran to rescue the train and physically push it up the incline.  The will of the “we” prevailed and President Garfield, having only served four months at the time of the shooting, lived out his last days with a beautiful view of the sea and the love of his country.

 

Back to Thanksgiving and ‘we’

We are better together.  It is healthy to remember this.  Working together produces results that can’t be achieved by the individual alone.  The team approach works in your marriage, family, work, church, and your community.  Thanksgiving is around the corner.  You may interact with certain people this time of year that you only see during holiday gatherings.  Approaching difficult relationships with a “we” mentality forces us to look at what we have in common.  Below I have listed ways to approach difficult people through the lens of “we” instead of “me”.

 

  • WE Thinking                                        ME Thinking
  • Looks for common ground                    Looks for differences
  • Sees you as a person                               See you as an adversary
  • Tries to understand                                 Tries to win
  • Communicates to connect                     Communicates to convince
  • Listens and learns                                   Resists and rebuts
  • Focuses on purpose of gathering          Focuses on personal opinions
  • Recognizes power in words                   Speaks foolishly for own gain
  • Lifts up others                                          Tears down others

 

Sometimes it feels like we have gone the extra mile in a relationship and laid all the new track we can find and yet the hill is too steep and we just can’t get to that place in the relationship that we want to be.  Some relationships are so toxic that significant boundaries must be put in place.  Most relationships, though, can be navigated successfully by remembering that we have more in common than our pride wants us to believe.  While not easy, putting on new glasses with “we” lenses can create a more joyful, peaceful holiday table.

 

“We” thinking creates friendships where animosity once existed.  This is not just overly-hopeful, optimistic thinking but rather careful, authentic choices birthed out of a deep desire to bring people along and truly see the best in them.  The same three magical words that I share with every struggling married couple also apply to tense holiday tables.

 

HELP ME UNDERSTAND

Maybe this Thanksgiving you are the one who strives to create belonging, acceptance, value, and understanding.  The irony of it is that the “we” can be sparked by one person deciding to take a different approach.  It took one guy running toward the stalled train with a dying president inside to energize and unite hundreds to push that train up the incline.  The power of “we” inspires others to join.  It just might make a difference at your Thanksgiving table this year!

 

The staff of Alethia wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.  We are truly grateful to all of you who have allowed us to walk with you through celebrations and struggles.  We are thankful for you and your family!

 

 

 

According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression is recognizable when the following are true most of the time… seriously, read this:

 

  • Feeling depressed (e.g. sad, empty)…  Diminished interest or pleasure in most activities Image result for depression during the holidays
  • A significant change of weight in a short time (gained or lost)
  • Change in sleep (too much or too little)…  Change in level of energy exerted (overly restless or lethargic)… Fatigue… Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
  • Diminished ability to think or concentrate…  Recurrent thoughts of death or suicidal thinking (especially planning)

 

I know what you may be thinking:  with hopefully the exception of that last one, I am describing any employee with high-stress job, or the average hyper-busy house mom with little kids especially around the holidays!

 

Stressful interactions with family and social events can be a lot for anyone to deal with.  If someone has any predisposition for melonchology or anxiety, the system can get overwhelmed.  Really, it generally isn’t the holidays that are the problem, but they can be the proverbial straw.  Less sun, busier schedules, financial stress can get us.  Whether diagnosable depression or just holiday blues, there are some things we can do to experience a “fuller” life!

 

First, though, if there is any question whether you are experiencing clinical depression, it is vitalto speak to a counselor and a medical doctor.  Depression is a serious disease, but the symptoms can be greatly mitigated by medical help and counseling.  So, is there anything else the we can do when we face the negative feelings?

 

By the way, even if you don’t deal with depression, if you know how to help yourself, you will be better at helping others in the same ways.  In addition to medical advice, check out these four non-medical ways to fight depression (as well as just the blues!):

 

  1.  Have fun – get out and play, do things you enjoy, etc.  This is a tough, though.  What does the depressed person enjoy, if you ask them? Of course, “nothing.”  That’s what depression is!  Better to think about what you used to enjoy before.  Then, make yourself schedule time to do them.  If you can’t think of anything, I have two for you:  one, find a swing set and climb on. two, buy a box of crayons (think 50+ colors) and start coloring.  Draw what you used to when you were a kid: a house, rainbows, trees, rocket ships bombing the moon (or was that just me?).  Finger painting, molding clay and mud puddles are good ones too – anything that requires you to throw away what you are wearing is good!

 

  1. Work – do something productive with your hands, garden, build something, etc.  It needs to feel meaningful and like you have accomplished something.

 

  1. Exercise – walk, run, swim, whatever.  Consistent exercise is one of the best ways to stave off depression, and it will help your sleep patterns.  Get out and breathe.

 

  1. Religious activity – pray, sing, sit still, read, get involved in Church!  Isolation is dangerous – join in with a community of faith.  Get alone, or in a group, with God and talk – laying down all your burdens.  Grab a Bible and check out Phillipians 4:6-9 for a reminder of how prayer is a great solution for anxiety.

 

Obviously, these are great habits for life regardless of depression. Therefore, develop good habits about these above and avoid bad habits like isolating yourself and rumination.

 

Too much isolation is a sure path to depression.  Also avoid “rumination.”  Rumination is the word for animals chewing their cud; we may not do that with food, but we do chew, swallow and regurgitate our thoughts.  When we do, our thoughts tend to grow negative.

 

It is not uncommon for people to feel stressed, anxious, blue, or even depressed as this time of the year approaches… but honestly, a couple of good decisions… get out, work, play, worship… can create a better chance for focusing on the Good News… faith, and of course, family and friends, during this season – which is what living well is really all about!

 

Which Christmas movie character are you?

I’m hosting a therapeutic small group for women during the month of December.  During this month, specifically, we find ourselves experiencing more stress, more family, more expenses, more parties, more food and just plain MORE of anything and everything.  We also can feel more love, more hurt, more gratitude and yet more sadnesschristmas movie charactersMore can be hard.  More of anything in our life demands adaptation skills.  Adaptation skills require extra emotional energy.  And extra emotional energy is hard to find as “more” is heaped on us! A season filled with more is a difficult maze to navigate!  When we add grief, depression, anxiety and loneliness to all of this “more” you can begin to feel like the holidays are an emotional avalanche ready to bury you!

 

These feelings are common during the season from Thanksgiving to New Years.  One of my favorite quotes that sums up how a lot of us feel is “Home for the Holidays, Therapy by New Year’s”!  These feelings are so universal we find them throughout Christmas themed movies, songs, and literature.  Who hasn’t felt Elvis’ pain of a “Blue Christmas” or let our mind drift to a place we long for while listening to Bing Crosby sing “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”.  Movies often times represent our shared psyche as a culture.  We see ourselves in these characters and the more they hold up a mirror to us individually and collectively the more the movies become part of tradition.  Christmas movies hold a special place in our Christmas culture because we feel what these beloved characters feel and we watch as their “humanness” is displayed for all to see on the big screen.

 

So, which character reflects your feelings this Christmas?

The Christmas Characters

Ebeneezer Scrooge

christmas movie character ebenezer scrooge disney “I feel angry” – Scrooge hates Christmas.  He is pessimistic, ill-tempered, and resents even the idea of allowing people to get emotionally close to him.  He has forgotten how to play, laugh, and love.  Christmas is threatening to him because deep down he is fearful of what it might require from him.  But, like all good movies, the most depraved character awakens to a new beginning.  Scrooge is changed by dreams of the past, present, and future.  He sees the error of his stingy ways and opens his heart to the people around him.  Scrooge inspires us to change today in order to avoid the fate of tomorrow.  We cheer for him as he embarks on a transformational journey from bitterness to love.

George Bailey

christmas movie character george bailey

“I feel trapped” – George represents that part of us that just wants to give up sometimes.  He is a desperate man that doesn’t see his value.  He is trapped in a life that looks very different than the life he thought he would live.  He is a man drowning in grief.  He can be described as a man simply going through the motions of being alive but not really living.  And then, when we think George is at his end, an angel named Clarence enters and performs a lifesaving refocusing of George’s life.  Gratitude replaces hopelessness and an angel gets his wings.

Elf

elf christmas movie character“I feel unwanted” – Buddy the Elf is the ultimate fish out of water story.  He doesn’t fit.  Literally.  He is too big to be an elf yet too socially awkward to be a human.  He struggles to find his place and to find love and acceptance.  He romanticizes everything that is Christmas but longs to find real connection.  He just wants to belong.  Buddy struggles to navigate the difficult relationship with his father but in the end (and we all prefer a happy ending) Buddy the Elf uses all his lovability and quirkiness to turn his father into a kind, loving person.

Ralphie 

Image result for christmas movie character ralphie“I feel unheard” – Ralphie keeps telling everyone what he wants but no one seems to be taking him seriously.  It is very simple.  He wants an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.  He even resorts to asking Santa because his mom and teacher have shut down his BB gun desires.  This is a story that takes us to a place of wanting something so much and yet having so little ability to get what we want.  Ralphie is a hero to everyone who has ever felt powerless and in the end, he is victorious in his quest even as he lives out the self-fulfilling prophecy of shooting his eye out!

Clark Griswold

Image result for christmas movie character clark griswold“I feel responsible” – Clark is an idealistic, over-achiever, who sees other’s happiness as his responsibility.  Sure, he likes being the hero but he also has a big heart.  Christmas has become the stuff myths are made of for Clark and we see him strive for the unattainable and fail in humorous ways over and over.  He takes expectations to a new level and experiences the depths of disappointment.  His wife tells him “You set standards that no family activity can live up to” and yet he continues.  Clark represents the doer in all of us.  It is the idea that if we do enough we can make people happy and achieve perfection.  Of course, in the end Clark has his family surrounding him and he proclaims “I did it”.  The question that lingers is:  At what cost???

The Grinch

Image result for christmas movie character grinch cartoon“I feel hurt” – There is a reason his heart is two sizes too small.  Somewhere in the past the Grinch was hurt deeply.  He now looks down on the Whos in Whoville with a mixture of resentment and abandonment which just leaves him feeling isolated and alone.  Sure, he acts out with anger but it comes from a place of woundedness.  He acts out of his pain much like Scrooge.  The Grinch, though, has not filled his life with any real successes.  He only desires to take joy from the Whos.  In the end, he is touched by the Whos resiliency to celebrate without all the trappings of the traditional Christmas.  He sees good in them and in himself.  The hurt gives way to hope.  In that moment, his heart grows three sizes because he realizes he can choose how to respond to that hurt just as he has seen the Whos in Whoville respond to their hurt.  His heart is healed by their joyful singing.

 

So … “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store… Maybe Christmas means a little bit more.”

 

Whatever you are feeling this Christmas season please remember that these feelings are common to all of us and can be intensified because of the “more” that specifically happens during this season.  If you would like to be a part of a group of ladies who will support and journey with you during the month of December, please call the Alethia office and ask about the Holiday Help Group for Women.  Blessings this Christmas season!

 

 

 

In life there are times of difficulty. Sometimes we simply handle or endure such hardships until things get better, and we go on with our lives. But when is it time for us to seek outside help? When is it best to consider counseling?

 

Image result for counseling

Most of the reasons why someone should visit a counselor fall into two different categories: seasons of crisis and seasons of stagnation.

 

A season of crisis is when the worst parts of life come. Some extreme examples include discovering substance abuse, a death in the family, an affair… But there are many other types of crisis as well. Your child gets in a fight at school, your job announces large layoffs, a huge conflict occurs between you and your spouse… Whatever the specific cause of the crisis, a person will often find themselves feeling overwhelmed and grasping for answers. Questions with no answers cloud thinking. How did this ever happen? What am I going to do now? What should I do? Will we make it through this? What is the best way to handle this situation?

 

If you find yourself asking questions like these, then meeting with a counselor can be a great decision. A counselor is a resource, a voice of reason and safety in stormy times. A counselor can provide encouragement and relief, helping you get to a better place.

 

A season of stagnation, on the other hand, is when it feels like there is no progress in an area. There is not an emergency or immediate crisis, but rather a sense of something missing or lacking in life or relationships. For some this could be when the same fights with your spouse repeat frequently, without any resolution. Or perhaps it is finding the life to just be too much, and feelings of fear or hopelessness are slowly taking hold. All too often we stuff this negativity in and ignore the problems, but there is another way. Life does not need to continue in gloom, and there is hope for more. By speaking to a counselor and seeking guidance, healing and a better life await.

 

The seasons of crisis and stagnation are the two most common reasons why people come to counseling, but there is another time of life that is often overlooked. Counseling is also incredibly helpful in the sweet times of life, when all is going well. It is like doing a well check-up, where you assess and get an outside perspective on how to keep your life or marriage continuing on a healthy path. This use for counseling is taking what is already good and making it great. Especially if you are married, consider going to counseling for a couple sessions to help guide your relationship into deeper intimacy with your spouse.”

 

It is part of the human condition, at least while here on Earth, to live with grief.

Like big balls of double-sided tape, rolling through the medium we call “time,” collecting every regret, lament, remorse, etc. we rotate across.  Sometimes the older ones eventually can seem to get buried under the new ones. Image result for grief

For years I had a significant sciatic-type pain in my lower back.  Anyone who ever saw me teach for any period of time up until a couple of years ago would have seen me periodically have to bend and stretch out my back.

Recently, due to the work of a gifted orthopedic massage therapist (I had tried all kinds of other avenues without long-term effect), the lower back pain is essentially gone!

However, an interesting thing happened.

When the lower back pain was gone, I discovered that I had some pretty bad shoulder pain as well!  It wasn’t that anything had changed, it was
just that when the lower pain was gone, I realized the other pain had been there all along.

I had gotten used to it…

And it had been masked by a more immediate and recent pain.

I actually even know when the shoulder damage was done –  jumping out of a tree house at about age 10.

Especially things we face in childhood just feel normal to us… grief included.  It is kind of like our lives just solidify around some childhood experiences and they seem stable, regular, unavoidable.
Sometimes this belief can stall out healthy grieving, I think.

There is more about the childhood issue, but that will have to be another entry someday.

Grief is what we experience when, moving through life/time uni-directionally, as we do, we experience something that is what we would have hoped for.  The process of grieving seems to the course by which each of us moves forward in a progressively healthier way in response to the experience.

Someone who isn’t moving forward, or getting progressively healthier, then would be said to have grief, but not be grieving.

Grieving seems to come more natural to some than others.  Some people seem more simply able to withstand the power of grief than others, even though all of us face that power.

One person seems to process more easily the divorce of a decade long marriage but another person seems to muddle through accepting
a high-school breakup;

One person faces financial ruin with optimism but another ruminates for months over a single bad investment;

One person rejects God’s love forever after the loss of a loved one while another’s faith is deepened and widened…

Why?

Certainly temperament, IQ, life experiences, and more play into it… but I cannot imagine that anyone outside of Heaven could onestly have any idea that would be accurate for the human race.  In fact, my guess is that our beliefs play nto it more than anything else…

And what is more particular to an individual han their beliefs?

As humans, we are so complex that to simplify omething as deeply rooted into who we are as our grief is foolish.

Certainly Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s 5 stages of grief (from her 1969 book, On Death and ying) is the most famous attempt a creating some kind of documented process and the 5 are excellent and very helpful at offering a general format for the conversation… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but they aren’t the railroad tracks that every person takes, must take, or will take.

Oddly, grief is so individual that even when multiple people experience the exact same event, it is as though they were not experiencing
the exact same event when it comes to how they grieve.

Back to the death of my friend – think how differently the grief experienced by his wife, his parents, his boss, and his friend are!  I would imagine we experience our loss of him in totally different ways and times.

If 100 people face a tragic event, then there will be 100 different classes and experiences of grief… and comparing them is of little advantage.

In fact, comparison is one of the topics I want to touch on regarding the concepts that I believe need to be talked about in our grieving, but I think this is enough for one article, so we will talk more about that and other touchpoints in the next article, Lord willing, next week.

Part III

 

 

 

 

 

This next Wednesday, November the 9th, FBC and Alethia Family Counseling will host two short seminars for adults – moms, dads, grandparents, teachers and others – children

 

We will be in the Great Room at FBC South Campus (just south of the new loop) at 9:30am (hoping that is convenient for parents who drop off kids at school and can make it then) and again at 6:30 that evening in the same location.

Do not hesitate to reach out to either the church or Alethia.

 

For more information on these seminars or other questions you can contact the Alethia us at 903-561-8955, or by email at josh@bergercounseling.com